


The Greatest Thing

by Cyhyr



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Mentioned Attempted Rape/Non-Con in later chapters, Not Beta Read, loosely based on Moulin Rouge
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-29
Updated: 2013-09-09
Packaged: 2017-12-25 01:37:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/947081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyhyr/pseuds/Cyhyr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."</p><p>Roxas is new and Xion shows him around the city and he meets Axel at a club. Their love ignites so quickly he's still reeling from how easy it was to fall in love with him. </p><p>AU loosely based on the film Moulin Rouge! (2001)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I clearly didn't cry enough during every single AkuRoku moment in Kingdom Hearts or during Moulin Rouge! so I did the thing and mashed them together. Let's go on this roller coaster and cry together, shall we?
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything belonging to either the Kingdom Hearts franchise or in the Moulin Rouge! movie.
> 
> Also, as anyone who saw the movie knows, non-con is attempted and my story will deal with the recovery part, but I'm not tagging it under the Rape/non-con warning because it's never described in detail, but if just the mentioning of the event is triggering, please don't continue reading this story. Nothing is worth a flashback.

**_The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return._ **

 

I’ve run out of tears to cry. _Greatest thing_ , my ass. Sometimes I wish I had never left home, never found that damned club, never met… 

The club was a kingdom of pleasures, and the greatest of all was the man I loved. He sold himself to the rich and powerful- those who could afford him.  He was young. He was beautiful. He was the star, and anyone who was anyone boasted nights spent with him but I could never _afford_ him. 

He was… 

He is… 

I traveled from Twilight Town to Radiant Garden one year ago, leaving behind an older brother and an elderly father. Sora had pushed me out the door, telling me I’d never leave if Dad had a word in anymore. I smiled easily, then. Sora sent me off with a chunk of money and a book of stamps and told me to write to him as often as I wasn’t writing my stories. 

Between the cabs and trains I had to take to get here, I lost the stamps. It’s always been in the back of my mind to purchase a new book and at least tell Sora I’m still alive, but with everything that’s happened, I’m not sure if I can honestly say that.

How would he take it, though, if I merely sent a postcard after a year of being here, stating,  _Hey Sora Love it here The city's great Can't complain I met a guy and I'd tell you more but there's no room on these stupid things Okay Love you Write you again soon Love, Roxas_.

Not well, I'm sure. 

I had found a studio apartment for rent the day I arrived and quickly settled down. I had come to write, be close to the publishing houses of the city, and completely devote myself to my art. My writing would profess the magic of truth, beauty, freedom, and that which I believed in above all things… love. 

Dad had always groaned about my obsession with love. Sora believed I was a little young to be a hopeless romantic, but never told me I was wrong to believe in it so much. 

The biggest problem, I realized the first day I sat on the floor near the open window and stared out into the city, was that I’d never been _in_ love. I’d had crushes through high school and middle school, and even dated one or two people during that time, but nothing ever seemed to strike me as _love_. Where your skin tingles from being touched and you can’t seem to stop smiling; you feel light and your chest tightens and relaxes at the most inopportune moments; nothing else matters because there’s that _one_ person in the world you can’t sleep because all you want to do is just stay awake forever with them. 

I'd never had that. 

Not before Axel.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I meet Xion, Demyx, and Zexion and answer embarrassing questions about myself while not learning nearly enough about the three of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See First Chapter Notes for the standard Disclaimer. 
> 
> I've come to realize that my characters might be a little OOC. I know Xion is.

_I've never quite had a friend like Xion, who would tell me exactly what she was thinking and expected the same courtesy._

That first day in the studio was warm and quiet and filled with hopes of my future.

Also, echos.

These were mostly of my stomach rumbling because, though the studio came furnished with a sofa-bed, table, two chairs, and major kitchen appliances, it did not come with food and it didn't occur to me until the fourth time my stomach rumbled as I stared at an empty page in my notebook that I actually needed to go out and find something to eat. I made sure the window was locked and that my backpack with the money from Sora was tucked in the space behind the sofa. I had a little bit of my own money from an article that published in the Twilight Times last month, and decided to treat myself. I patted my pocket to make sure my wallet was still there, and grabbed the key off the table as I went out. 

As I turned to lock the door, I heard the repeated pounding of feet against the worn carpet of the hallway coming from my left and instinctively pressed myself up against the door. The hallway was wide and I'm short for my age and pretty damn thin. I figured whoever was barreling down the hallway would be able to evade the one other body in the way. 

I was wrong. 

She knocked me down to the ground in a flurry of long, red sleeves and nails grasping at my solid blue tee while our legs tangled in a mess of her black jeans and my tan cargos. I groaned and opened my mouth to demand an apology, but she was already scrambling to her feet and taking me with her. She held my gaze and my hand like I were a lifeline and I could drag her to shore; except, as we started running down the hallway, it was _her_ who ended up dragging _me_ along. 

Her black hair bobbed along beside her ears and she kept glancing back at me with bright blue eyes that reminded me of Sora so much I was stunned silent for a breath. Her smile was just a quirk of lips and her sleeves were so long they covered my hand and wrist with soft, worn fabric and finally we reached the end of the hall and started down the stairs. 

"Let me go!" I said, trying to keep up with her as she skipped steps and I fumbled with my sneakers; the left one's laces had come undone at some point. 

"No way," she laughed. "You're a cutie and I'm not leaving you here while Saïx is roaming the halls, looking for some ass." 

We cleared the third staircase without dying, and she finally let go of my hand and slid down the fourth’s handrail. I stayed at the top of that last staircase and looked down at her, our chests heaving and she had that quirk in her lips while she nodded her head to the side. I started slowly down the steps, trying to catch my breath, and asked her for her name. 

“Xion,” she said. “What’s your favorite color?” 

“Blue- kinda the same shade as your eyes,” I replied, then shook my head. “I’m Roxas, by the way, thanks for asking.” 

“That’s a terrible pick-up line.” 

“I- uh- but it wasn’t-” 

“Mine’s red. Like my friend’s hair. Do you like burgers?” 

“Yes?” 

“With all the fixings?” 

“No cheese.” 

Xion shook her head at me and muttered something I couldn’t catch, but I was finally down on the bottom stair with her and she took my hand again and led the way out the door. 

The city air was musty and cold, but Xion was only in that thin long-sleeved shirt while I had my white and black jacket and when a gust of wind blew down the street and she coughed and shivered next to me, I shrugged out of my coat and put it around her shoulders. 

She gave me her smile and said, “Yeah, Saïx can’t get his slimy hands on you.” 

Her voice was light and sweet like a wind chime and her laughter made me smile. She asked questions about what I was doing in the big city, where I’d moved from, what books and movies I liked, and about my family. She answered back without me having to prompt her, gasped and squeezed my hand when I told her about my mother dying a year and a half ago, and stopped to hug me tight around my neck when I told her I actually enjoyed Episodes One, Two, and Three just as much as Four, Five, and Six. 

“Star Wars is my passion,” she explained, “and as long as it’s got the Star Wars name on it, I love it.” 

We eventually stopped walking and she pointed to the sign above a door to our left. 

“This is the only place you’ll ever need to remember in the city,” she said. “If you ever get lost, just ask any freak on the street where Zexy’s Fixins is, and they’ll get you here. Plus, he's the only place in this part of the city that has waffle fries.” 

She held open the door for me, and it felt a little weird because wasn’t _I_ supposed to do that for _her_ , but everything about Xion was backwards and weird and that was… _normal_. 

I’d only known her for an hour. She already found a spot in my heart and settled down like she owned me. 

And the weird part was that I didn’t mind at all. 

The inside of the restaurant looked more like a converted apartment, with mismatching chairs and tables and dark green walls. The lighting was bright and also looked like the owner just realized over time that this spot and that corner needed their own lamps. In one corner, there was even a floral patterned couch, a wide coffee table, a leather ottoman, and a brown recliner. 

The recliner was occupied by a blond man, who had leaned back with his hands folded over his stomach.  

“Is he-?” 

“Asleep? Yep. He does that.” 

Xion led me over to a knee wall, and on the other side was the kitchen. Not fit for a restaurant; a simple one like you would find in any house around here.  She knocked against the molding and then kicked the wall, and up popped another blond. 

He squeeked.

“What the!- Oh, hey, Sweetie, how you doin’?” 

“Great. Two burgers, both with everything, one without cheese, waffle fries, and two cokes.” 

“No cheese?” 

“No cheese.” 

“Not even on the fries?” 

She looked over at me and I shook my head. “Put some cheese on the side for me.” 

Then he looked at me and gave me this _What the fuck?_ look. His hair settled at his shoulders in the back, but was short and spikey in the front and on the top and his eyes were sea foam green. He had a long face and his nose crinkled when he gave me that look. “How can you not like cheese?” 

“I’m actually intolerant.” 

Both he and Xion nodded and then he said, “That’s a pretty good reason to not want any cheese. Does it stop you up, give you gas, make you puke…?” 

I scoffed because who _asks_ that at a restaurant? Especially when you’re placing an order! But he and Xion were both looking at me expectantly, so I muttered, “ _Yes_.” 

“Wow, trifecta?” 

“Demyx! What’s the order???” I looked past him, into the kitchen, and saw another guy with a black apron on and- 

Lavender. 

His hair was lavender. 

“Two burger with everything and waffle fries.” 

“No cheese on one and cheese on the side for the fries,” Xion called through the hole in the wall. 

I groaned, ready to explain myself again, but the other guy just shrugged and began to cook our food. Demyx handed two glasses of coke to Xion and told her he’d bring our food out when it was ready.  

She gave me one and walked away. 

“Do you want to go clubbing tomorrow night?” she asked when we’d sat down. 

I relaxed as best I could, but the chair I got was stiff, and said, “I’ve never been.” 

“Right, but do you want to?” 

I shifted and rolled my shoulders and said yes, and she told me to grab another chair if that one wasn’t good. 

“My friend, with the hair? He dances, and he does a show on Friday nights.” 

I laughed into my glass. “All of your friends seem to have _‘the hair’_.” 

She giggled. “Right, but he’s got _hair_ ; like, Simba’s mane doesn’t do justice to describe this guy.” Then she smirked at me and continued, “I’ll bet you’d _really_ like him. I could even get you a private dance if you’d like.” 

I choked on my drink and Demyx came out with our food on three plates and sat down in the uncomfortable chair with us. Someone else slammed me on my back at the same time and I coughed up soda and phlem and Xion handed me a fistful of napkins. 

“I’m sorry,” I said. “What?” 

She burst into a fit of deep laughter, and so did Demyx. The guy with the lavender hair sat down on my other side and kicked a garbage pail over to me. 

“I mean, I’m sure you could get him alone on your own, but he’s pretty exclusive. He’d do it for me cuz we’re best friends, as a favor to acquaint you with the city, though.” 

“Axel?” Demyx asked and picked a fry off the large plate and dipped it in the cheese before eating it. 

Xion nodded. 

“Zexy got a dance from him once, didn’t you?” Demyx asked the guy next to me. 

“Please, don’t call me that. It’s bad enough you put it on the sign outside,” Lavender-Head said. He then turned to me and muttered, “Don’t let them fool you, my name is Zexion.” 

I smiled. “I know the feeling. Mine’s Roxas.” 

“Rocks _Ass_!!!” Demyx cried out. The guy in the corner twitched and snored loudly. It echoed in the otherwise empty room. 

“I’m just gonna call you Roxy and be done with it,” Xion said. “About that dance?” 

I groaned, because I thought that with a new city I could escape that name, but Xion found it. 

“No, thanks. But I’ll go out if I can at least start something tomorrow.” 

“Start what?” Zexion asked. 

“Roxy’s a writer,” Xion supplied, biting into her burger. Her eyes rolled back into her head and she moaned and fidgeted in her chair. I felt my cheeks go hot and ducked my head down to also take my first bite. 

I may have reacted the same way Xion did. 

“What are you writing about?” Demyx asked. 

“I don’t know yet,” I replied when my senses had come back. “I want it to be something meaningful, something that shows the world that there are still good, wholesome values to be taught and learned.” 

The three of them looked at me with varying degrees of disbelief and amusement on their faces and I took another bite. 

“Like what?” 

“Freedom, Beauty, Truth!” the guy in the corner sat up for just a moment and proclaimed. We all looked at him and then he fell back asleep. 

“Well, yes,” I said, “And of course, love.” 

“You’re not going to learn about love here, kid. Better go back to the small town you grew up,” Demyx said, stealing a piece of onion off of my burger. 

“Love doesn’t exist down here, Roxas. It’s eat or be eaten.” 

“You won’t find anyone who has the time,” Xion said. 

I gasped at them and put my burger down. “Love is everything, though. Love is what keeps hope alive; Love inspires dreams and happiness and makes people do the craziest of things. Love is the tingling you get when everything is finally perfect and nothing can bring you down.” 

The three of them looked at me with blank faces and I shrank in my seat and crossed my arms across my waist. 

“Of all things, I want to write about love.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Xion takes me "clubbing" and we dance while pondering how someone could be so beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer
> 
> I'm making this up as I go, btw. The voice has kinda changed from the first one... I'll have to fix that a little at some point.

_But someone else was to meet Axel that night._

 

The bass pounded and I could feel it throbbing just under my skin.  _Jitterbug_ was the club, and within minutes of stepping in the front door behind Xion, another woman with yellow hair (not blonde, really; yellow) came up to me with a smirk on her lips and greeted Xion before turning to me and yelling, at the both of us, “What’s with the fresh meat?” 

Xion shook her head, took my hand, and yelled back at the woman, “We’re just here to see Axel.” 

She took me over to the bar and grabbed a beer for each of us before I could tell her I didn’t drink. She stayed against the bar with me while we drank and she bobbed her head to the music. 

I barely managed to sip at the beer a few times before someone backed up into me and it spilled a little down my front. Xion reached around me and grabbed the guy at his forearm and turned him around. But wow, the man was tall and built and had chocolate skin and glaring yellow eyes. “Hey,” she said, “the least you could do is apologize!” 

“For what?” the man said. His silver hair shifted as he turned his head to fully face us, and I was still just looking sideways at him but Xion had her hands on her hips and was scowling at the man at least two heads taller than both of us. She was just barely shaking. 

The sleeves on her shirt were still way too long, but the color was the same as her eyes and they narrowed and she snarled. 

“You knocked into him, caused him to spill his beer. We haven’t moved in ten minutes, so don’t give me that crap about not seeing us,” she said. 

He chuckled and I ducked my head and hissed in her ear, “Don’t worry about it; just a few drops.” 

“It’s principal, Roxy,” she hissed back, then yelled at the man, “Well???” 

He shook his head and motioned to the bartender for a drink, and Xion kicked the back of his boot. 

His shoulders froze and he looked down at her. “Do you know who I am?” he seethed. 

“No, and I don’t care! Just apologize already!” 

“Hey, Xion, I see you’ve met my Dad’s business partner!” the woman from before swept in and put a hand on both Xion and the man’s shoulders and looked between them. “This is Xemnas- he’s looking to invest in the club! And this,” she patted Xion on the back and turned to Xemnas, “is Xion. My old roommate. She’s our best and cheapest form of advertisement.” 

Xion visibly swallowed and shook Xemnas’s hand as he stuck it out, and then she scuffled back to my side and took my hand. “Thanks for introducing us, Larxene. Axel’s on soon, so…” 

“Better go find a seat. Don’t want Blondy to miss out on this, right?” 

I followed Xion away, but Xemnas’s hand on my shoulder stopped us before we could truly put some distance and he leaned down and whispered in my ear, “Tell the billboard I’m apologizing when she asks. And stay out of my way.” I nodded and let Xion tug me along to a booth along the farthest wall from the entrance. She gave me a small bunch of bills and told me to drop them on the floor under the table to our right. 

“Why?” 

“Because these guys won’t tip if they don’t have money. And Axel deserves tips, but he won’t take them from me, Dem, or Zexy, so we drop them around whenever we come to watch. Keep a few for yourself; if he dances for you, you’ll have something to give him.” 

After I dropped most of the bills and pocketed a few, we settled down next to each other and she leaned heavily against me and groaned and took a deep swig of her beer. We sat in silence for a little while until she looked up at me and demanded, “Tell me what that prick said to you before.” 

“What he told me to tell you, or what he actually said?” 

She rolled her eyes. 

“He told me to stay out of his way,” I said, and took a sip of my beer with a grimace. “And he called you a billboard.” 

“Dick.” 

She slid out of the booth and told me to wait while she got me a drink I’d actually like, and then she took my beer and finished it down in a few gulps. She walked away and I slid closer to the wall and looked out over the crowd of dancing bodies, searching for a stage I could situate myself toward but there didn’t seem to be anything resembling that except for the DJ. 

Two bodies tumbled away from the crowd of dancers and toward my booth, and I bit my lip and watched as one of them pushed the other into our table. Their hands were all over each other’s bodies and the one against the table leaned back until his elbows nearly touched the surface, and then he looked over at me. 

“Sorry,” he said, and I watched as his hair fell back against his shoulders and there was _no way_ that was natural because who has hair that color. 

_Mine’s red. Like my friend’s hair._  

“C’mon, babe, we’ll find a new booth,” the pusher said, grabbing this guy’s hands and clearly pressing their hips together at the end of the table. 

“Yeah, sure,” he said, I was without doubt that this guy who just fell onto my table with hair like fire was Xion’s friend. Axel. He winked at me, stood up, and let the other man drag him away. 

I just watched him go, and he watched me as he left. And even when he was out of sight, I still stared in his direction. 

Then Xion came back and knocked on the table. I gasped and coughed and she slapped my back the same way Zexion did last night. She was grinning and her face was a little flushed. 

“So, you met Axel, huh?” 

I nodded and slid over on the bench. She sat down beside me and put her feet up on the bench as she turned to lean her back against my side. She motioned to the glass with the electric blue liquid in it while she took up the red-orange one. “What is this?” I asked 

“Dirty Bong Water. Delicious.” 

I took a sip and laughed. It was, actually. “I don’t usually drink,” I told her. “But I could get used to this stuff.” 

“Yeah. The fruity stuff is the best,” she responded. “What’d you think?” 

“Of Axel?” 

She nodded. 

“You weren’t kidding about that hair.” 

She laughed. And then the music and the lights changed. She sat up and screamed along with the rest of the crowd, and then took my hands and dragged me out of the booth. “Leave the drinks, no one’ll bother them; Larxene’s looking out for us. Come on!” 

_“Come and get me, guys!”_  

She led the way into the mob and I just tried to stay upright while the bodies bounced and danced and wormed around me. I got turned around and lost Xion’s hand, and next thing I knew, he was right in front of me again. 

He was wearing a red tank top and leather pants, and the neckline was so loose and low I could see the depression between his pecs and my face heated up and my throat dried out. He took my hand and spun me around and we danced to the thrumming beat. He knew his way around his own body and found his way around mine and, for once, I didn’t feel awkward trying to dance. He leaned down and whispered to me, “Don’t you dare think about tipping me; I’m not taking Xion’s money.” 

Then he nipped my ear and moved on to the next body around him. But though he danced with everyone around him who waved a bill in his face and the beat was so fast that my heart was pounding to keep up, our eyes stayed together. He had a grin like he knew something I didn’t, and his lips glistened in the lights whenever he licked them. 

I had never seen a more beautiful person in my entire life. 

The people around me started pushing again and the song transitioned, and I found my way back to our booth where Xion and Larxene were both sitting and talking over the noise. Xion patted the seat beside her and passed my Dirty Bong Water across the table. “How was he?” she yelled, smirking. 

I downed the rest of the drink in a few gulps and set the empty glass down on the table and sat beside her. I leaned my head against her shoulder. Larxene reached over and ruffled my hair. 

“That’s adorable. Club virgin getting with the best of the best on his first night,” she cooed. 

They went back to their shouting match and I turned back to the floor. I watched Axel move from person to person, watched as they ran their hands over his body, rested their hands on his hips, grabbed him by the front of his tank and brought his face so close to theirs. He was passed around like a drug, only staying long enough to get a rise out of the person he danced with and then shoved over to the next. 

And I desperately wanted another hit. 

But Xion kept a hand on mine. It was amazing, the power she held in that simple action but I couldn’t do anything but lean against her and watch while the dancers grew drunk on Axel while she smoothed her thumb against my palm and shouted at Larxene. For another twenty minutes we sat there, the music throbbing around us like a heartbeat and I realized that, in that moment, the club was truly _alive_ and the music _was_ keeping it alive. 

And if the music was the heartbeat, and the other dancers and patrons the organs and cells, then Axel was the soul, the driving force behind everything. Even if he didn’t dance with someone, they danced with others, who danced with even more people, and the mob was alive. 

He disappeared from sight and I took a sip of Xion’s drink. She yelled in my ear that it was a blood orange cosmo and I could have the rest if I liked it. Then a high-pitched scream called out over the music and everything stopped. I looked up and over the crowd, but Larxene was already up and moving. 

Xion’s hand was still in mine. I couldn’t move. 

But, I saw Larxene turn to the right and caught the brush of red through the crowd. The dancers were still, and Xion whispered in my ear, “Let’s go.” 

I shuffled out of the seat, forgetting the cosmo, and helped Xion out. She followed in the direction that Larxene had gone, but the blonde was up at the DJ stand, talking to him behind her hand. She waved with her other hand at us, and Xion dragged me along the line of booths to a door that read _Employees Only_. 

The guard at the door held up his hands and stopped us. “Sorry, not happening tonight, Poppet.” 

“Larxene waved us in, didn’t you see?” Xion said. “Let me through- Axel-” 

“Will be alright and needs to calm down. It was just a fainting spell, Poppet. Go back to your table and get another drink.” 

I felt her grinding her teeth and tugged on her arm. “The guy’s right, Xion; I’m sure he’s fine.” 

She sighed and let me take her back to the table, but another group had already invaded and the music started back up, building in volume slowly until the mob forgot why they stopped dancing in the first place. We went back to the bar and each got a glass of water, pounded them, and Xion took me outside. 

I walked the curb and she swung our hands back and forth. We were silent until I said, “I’m sorry.” 

“For?” she whispered. 

“Not being nearly as worried as you are, I guess.” 

“You don’t know him,” she said. “Axel’s _never_ passed out on the floor. That’s why he’s so sought-after. He’s got stamina like no one’s business.” She stopped walking, her face blank and turned downward. “I’m just…” 

“Worried,” I finished for her. I smiled and put my hands on her shoulders, got her to look at me. “It’s okay to be worried, but I sincerely doubt that if he’s their best they wouldn’t take care of him.” 

She didn’t look convinced, so I asked, “Would it make you feel better if you went out to see him tomorrow?” 

“I could try calling him right now…” 

“And hear it from the man himself that he’s alright!” I said, and the corner of her mouth tipped up just a bit before she dragged an old, chunky Nokia out of her back pocket. 

She caught me as I stared with a quirked brow because I hadn’t seen something like that since first grade. “Shut up,” she said, and moved us closer to the buildings and away from traffic. She dialed and waited and I pressed my ear to the other side of the phone. She swatted at me, but I slapped her hands away, and she relented. 

It rang twice before he answered. 

“ _Yo_.” 

“Hey, Axel; it’s Xion.” 

He chuckled. _“I know. It’s called_ caller ID _. What’s up?”_

“I just needed to check up on you, but Xigbar wouldn’t let me through,” she said. She started to bite her thumbnail and I pulled it away from her mouth after the first _snap_ of teeth against nail. 

_“I’m fine. Just a fainting spell. Too much pressure tonight, y’know?”_  

“Is there?” 

_“Yeah; Larxene’s got some high-and-mighty douchefucker who wants to ‘inspect the assets’ of Jitterbug before he decides to invest. Maybe it’s a good thing I got off the floor…”_  

“Have you met Mr. Douchefucker yet?” Xion said, finally smiling. 

_“No, but he’s supposed to be here in fifteen minutes.”_  

“So, if I came by your window, would you let me in for a bit?” 

_“Sure.”_  

“I’ll see you in five.” 

_“Bring that cute blond with you, yeah?”_  

I inhaled sharply and gave myself a coughing fit while Xion laughed and hung up. 

“Guess who’s meeting my hunk of a friend tonight, Roxy?” she sang at me. 

And as I calmed down, I smiled. 

I was going to meet Axel. 

_(I should have run the other way.)_


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I meet Axel and encounter Xemnas, making new friends and enemies all in the same twenty minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer

_Axel was passion and perfection and I was… am… What did he see in me?_  

Xion tapped three times on the window when we got there, and, it took a moment, but the light faded and a shadow cast over us and he smiled. He opened the window quickly and stuck his hands out. Xion turned to me and laced her hands together underneath the way. “Step on up, Roxy!” 

I reached up and clasped hands with Axel and Xion passed me up to him. He helped me through the window and his hands were _everywhere_ because I’d never climbed through a window before and it was beyond awkward, but he just laughed it off and mentioned how much lighter I looked on the dance floor. 

When I was all the way through, he leaned back out and motioned for me to do the same. “Help me out,” he said, and took Xion by the forearms and lifted her. I reached and helped as best I could, and was relieved when she scrambled through the window only a little more gracefully than I had. Axel helped her stand up and she swatted his hand aside and brushed herself off. 

Xion started asking him questions about his fainting spell and sat him down on the bed and looked him over. I stood uncomfortably next to the window, leaning against the sill and hoping that he wouldn’t talk to me because I wouldn't know what to say... or I'd make a complete ass of myself. 

His room was covered in red. The walls were red, the bed was fitted with white sheets and red throws, a changing screen in the corner had fabric that was printed with flames, and the area run under their feet was more of a maroon. Even the furniture and the hardwood floor I stood on was hued to co-ordinate with the room. 

He had a vanity with a large mirror, and sheer red fabric was draped across the top. It sat across from the bed and was angled toward me, so I still had a near perfect view of his face. Before, in the club, the only thing I could catch was his eyes and lips but now I could see a marking- a tattoo- under each of his eyes.  I wondered, but didn’t ask. 

_(Never asked.)_  

“You just gonna stand there all night like a statue, Roxy?” he asked after Xion had finished with him. 

I groaned. “ _Roxas,_ ” I corrected. 

“He does respond to ‘Roxy,’ though,” Xion added and sat down at the vanity. 

“I won’t like it.” 

“Well, we don’t want that, then,” he grinned. “Roxas.” He patted the spot next to him on the bed and shuffled back against the wall. “Come sit. You look stiff.” 

I sighed, figuring if he was anything like Xion, Demyx, or Zexion, that if I didn’t do as he said, he’d just drag me along to it. The rug was soft under my sneakers, and I sat on the edge of the bed and tried to breathe. 

“Tell me about yourself, Roxas,” he said. I looked back at him, still in his tank and leather, and his hands rested on his thighs and I began to ramble about Sora and Dad… and Mom… my friends back home. And after I’d talked myself out, he looked at me with the most interested smile I’d ever seen and looked over at Xion. 

“Where did you find this guy?” 

“I saved him from Saïx.” 

He looked back at me and pushed himself across the bed. Our knees knocked together lightly. He kept smiling. “I asked about _you_ , not everyone else.” 

I couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped and when he took my hand and placed it on the bed behind us, Xion said, “His favorite color is blue, he’s got the worst pick-up lines in the history of lines, is a fellow Star Wars fan, and likes burgers. _But no cheese_.” 

“What?” Axel scoffed. “A burger isn’t complete without cheese. How can you-?” 

“Intolerance,” I explained. 

“Ah. That’s a good-” 

“Excuse?” 

He laughed and tightened his hold on my hand and I was probably flushed bright red to match his room. 

“Oh, and he’s a writer,” Xion said. 

“No shit?” 

“He’s gonna write us a love story someday,” she cooed. I couldn’t meet his eyes, because I could feel them blank and cold against my skin, just like everyone else’s were last night. I didn’t need that much disbelief so soon, but his fingers threaded their way through my own and I glanced over at him. 

“It’s just an idea,” I muttered. 

“Can I be the first to read it?” he asked. His eyes were soft and the lamps were casting the perfect light on his face. Perfect light, perfect face, perfect words. I didn't realize it, but I was falling already.  

So I said, “If it ever happens, you’ll be the first to know.” 

Then, the knocking came. Axel turned away and Xion checked the clock above the door and whispered that the client was five minutes early. She took my hand and threw open the window and then the door opened. Axel pushed me and her back and behind the changing screen and shushed us. 

The door creaked open and Xion put a hand over my mouth to keep me quiet. 

“Axel, this is Xemnas, our new potential investor,” Larxene said. Xion and I glanced at each other and quietly shifted so we could peak through the creases in the screen. The man from before was there and looking Axel up and down. 

“A pleasure to meet you, Xemnas,” Axel purred. 

“The pleasure, _Axel_ , will be all mine,” Xemnas growled. I watched as he began to circle Axel and Larxene giggled and gave a quick wave of her fingers. 

“I’ll leave you two to your business,” she said and closed the door behind her. 

“Is there anything I can do to make you more _inclined_ to invest, Sir?” Axel asked after Larxene left. 

“Just stand still a moment.” 

Xemnas dragged his fingers across Axel’s body and kept circling. “So, you’re our star; our big money-maker.” 

“The main event,” Axel added. 

“On _and_ off the floor?” 

“The _Best_.” 

Xemnas leaned down and muttered something in Axel’s ear and he glanced over at us quickly before sinking to his knees and working the buckle on Xemnas’s belt. I bit my lip as I watched, but Xemnas swatted Axel’s hand away and said, “Stay still.” 

He wove his fingers through Axel’s hair and pulled his head back. Axel groaned when Xemnas fingered his throat, and kept his back arched and his throat exposed even after Xemnas pulled both of his hands back and crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Very nice.” 

“Thank you.” 

“And you live here, as well as work?” 

“It ensures I'm always available.” 

“And when you have private clients?” 

“The magic happens in another room.” 

“When do you normally work?” 

“Friday through Monday nights. I make myself available for clients and parties on Wednesdays as well.” 

Xemnas buckled his belt back up and said, “You can relax.” Axel sat down on the floor and stretched out his legs and rolled his neck, and Xemnas continued, “I’ll be investing with _Jitterbug_ , then. There, of course, will be conditions; but I’ll work them out with Larxene.” 

He turned around and placed his hand on the door knob and said over his shoulder, “Make yourself available tomorrow night at six. I’ll have Larxene tell you where to go.” Then he left and the door shut noisily behind him. 

Axel fell backwards and breathed, “You can come out now.” 

I crawled out first, and Xion crept behind me. She scurried over me and to Axel and shook him a little, then harder. 

“Roxy, he’s passed out again!” 

I scrambled to her side. She pressed her hand to his forehead and he groaned. His eyes fluttered open and he smiled at us. “Don’t worry, okay? Just stress,” he murmured. 

I exhaled sharply and Xion slapped him lightly across the face. 

“I’m _allowed_ to worry,” she said. 

He sat up and we heard footsteps in the hall. Xion grabbed my hand and Axel got up on the bed while we went behind the screen again; the doorknob turned. 

Xion backed up further into the corner but I stayed near the edge and listened. 

“I forgot my coat.” 

_Xemnas_. 

“Well, let me help you into it,” Axel said, and fabric rustled and  Xemnas muttered a few things that I couldn’t quite make out. Then, when his coat was on, Axel said good night and I heard the door open. 

And then it slammed shut. “Come out from behind the screen,” Xemnas called. 

I glanced over at Xion and she was biting her lip and shaking. 

Axel laughed. “There’s no one there, Sir,” he said. 

“I can see your shoelace.” 

I looked down at my feet and, sure enough, the lace on my left shoe had come loose at some point and was in plain sight. I held my hand up to Xion, put my finger to my lips, and mouthed _Stay quiet._ Then, I stepped out from behind the screen. 

Xemnas seemed bigger in this light, but those eyes still scared me. I tried to stand firm, but when he started toward me, I took a step to the side, putting my back to the corner opposite the screen. _Xion can’t be seen_. He had leather gloves on and a large, black trench coat, and as he came to me he pulled off his left glove and I knew he was going to slap me with it. 

The blow came, but I reached up and caught the glove and tore it from his hand. He grabbed my wrist and backed me up to the wall, pressed my wrist against it, and when I came around with my other hand to try and break the hold, he took that wrist, too. I kicked at his knee, but he blocked and dug his nails into my wrist. I bit my lip to keep from gasping, and he looked over his shoulder at Axel and seethed, “How long has he been here?” and then to me, “How much did you hear?” 

“He only just-” 

“Just got here,” I ground out. “The window was open and my friend was upset because security wouldn’t let her come see him after he passed out on the floor tonight. She can’t climb that height- _girls,_ right?- so I offered to check up on him.” 

Xemnas glared at me, and then gave me a toothy, evil grin. “So you broke in to _Jitterbug_? Breaking and Entering is a crime, kid.” 

“Except that I didn’t _break_ anything. The window was open.” 

“Still didn’t pay to get in this time.” He looked over at Axel and said, “Call security. Tell them we had a break-in.” 

When his face turned away, his grip loosened just enough and I brought my foot up to his crotch and pushed as hard as I could. He backed away quickly, groaning, and I waved to Axel and said, “Good to see you’re alright!” and waved Xion over and she climbed out the window. After making sure she landed the jump alright, I helped Axel shove Xemnas out the door and lock it. 

He laughed breathlessly, and helped me out the window. 

Xion took my hand again and had a giant grin on her face for just a second before looking up at Axel, who was leaning out the window on his elbows, his chin in his hands. “You’ll be alright?” 

“There’s nothing that guy can throw at me that I can’t handle.” 

“Meet us for lunch tomorrow at Zexy’s,” she said. 

“I’ll be there,” he said and leaned further out the window. I heard pounding at his door, but he didn’t even look back; he stared at me and quirked his lips and said, “You’re pretty amazing, Roxas.” 

I tugged at Xion’s hand and smiled, and we walked away. She waved at him at the end of the alley, and he ducked back inside after blowing her a kiss. 

And that night, I fell onto the sofa and forgot that there was a bed I could pull out that might have been comfier. My chest was tight every time I thought of his smile and my cheeks hurt because every time I thought of his voice, _I_ smiled. 

I may have even fallen asleep with a smile on my face.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I begin my story and Axel peers into my soul while I try and fail to not fall in love with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See first chapter for disclaimer. 
> 
> This is not going as fast as I thought it would and school is getting in the way.

_Inspiration really does come at the most inopportune moments but that day, it came at precisely the right time._  

When I woke up, I had an idea. I sat at the table and scribbled on my notebook because even though I had an idea, it wasn’t really forming into characters and setting and all I had was a concept of “love at first sight” to go on and dreams of red hair and green eyes. 

For nearly three hours I thought about this story, trying to bring it to the paper; then Xion knocked and we went to meet Axel for lunch. I brought my notebook with me, tucked the pen in the spiral binding, grabbed my jacket, and locked the door. She took my hand and we went down the stairs. 

“How’d you sleep?” she asked. 

“Like I should have pulled out the bed before crashing,” I responded. 

She was, again, in a long-sleeved shirt and black jeans. The color of the day was pink. The sleeves were not quite as long as her other two shirts had been, and the hem just barely brushed my hand as we walked. It was windy again, and as soon as we were outside, I gave her my jacket again. 

“No way, Roxy,” she pushed it away. “I can’t have you cold for my sake.” 

“It’s just habit to grab the coat,” I lied. “Take it. I’ll be fine.” She wasn’t convinced, but let me help feed her arms through the sleeves. She huddled next to me and I put my arm around her shoulders while we walked. 

She told me about a dream she had, about building a raft with me, Demyx, Zexion, and Axel. In her dream, we were stuck on an island, and though it was a great place and we all loved it, we just wanted to go home, so we did. 

“But the raft wasn’t very good and we didn’t make it very far from shore before it sank,” she laughed. 

She ducked under my arm and crossed to the building to grab the door. I thanked her, went inside, and was almost immediately tackled. 

“Rocks _Ass!!!_ You came back!!!” Demyx crushed me in a hug and I patted his back a few times before Xion pulled him off of me. He grinned and pointed to a table near the back and said, “Axel’s over in the corner, probably taking a nap or something. Burgers?” 

“Sure,” Xion said. “And waffle fries.” 

“No cheese,” I reminded him. He nodded and went back to the kitchen, yelling the order to Zexion when I realized that I didn’t pay for my meal the other day. Xion was heading over to Axel, stretched out on the couch, and I didn’t even bring my wallet with me. 

I followed her, wondering if somehow she had an arrangement with Demyx and Zexion that let her get away with free food. Axel’s legs were folded to fit on the couch, his head against the armrest and his eyes were closed. I glanced around, anywhere but at him, and noticed that the blond was sleeping in the recliner again. He had an open newspaper across his stomach, but was just as unconscious as Axel appeared to be. 

Xion poked Axel in the stomach and whispered, “You’re getting fat,” and he groaned. 

“It’s muscle,” he said, and opened his eyes. 

“Muscle doesn’t squish.” 

“It does if it’s not toned.” 

“You’re making that up.” 

He sat up and stretched his arms over his head and the Green Lantern tee he had on hitched a bit on his waist. I had to sit down, and so took the closest chair to me and dragged it closer to a table before sitting and opening my notebook. 

The page was full of crossed-out ideas and character maps with giant _X_ ’s through a lot of it. I was pretty good, so far, at knowing what I wanted my story to _not_ be about. 

“What’s all that?” Axel asked. He was hanging over my shoulder and looking down at my book and I had this urge to close the cover or pitch myself forward so he couldn’t see anymore. Xion sat down next to me and pulled my book out from under my fist and turned it sideways. 

“Looks like notes,” she said. 

“Give it back!” I reached for it and when I had it pulled it back and clutched it to my chest. They wouldn’t understand, but it was a gut reaction. She held up her hands and Axel backed up as well. I sighed and said, “I’m sorry, but… yeah, they’re my notes. I had something come to me this morning and...” 

“You don’t want anyone seeing that shit,” Demyx said, peaking out of the kitchen. He smirked. “Let him be, guys. It’s an art thing. I hate it when people peak in and listen when I’m trying to write a song.” 

Axel sat down on Xion’s other side and they both stared at me until I relaxed and put my book, closed, back on the table. I tucked my pen behind my ear and drummed my fingers on the notebook. “I’m sorry,” I muttered. 

“What’s it about?” Xion asked. 

“Huh?” 

“The story,” Axel clarified. “You’ve got to have some idea yet, with all that scribbling.” 

“It’s not that simple… but, I think I know at least where it’s going to be set.” 

“It should be Switzerland,” Zexion called from the kitchen. He ducked his head through the hole in the wall and said, “I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland.” 

“Isn’t that in South America?” Demyx asked. 

“No, dummy; Europe.” 

“Oh… which one-?” 

“Exotic Switzerland,” Xion sighed and put her chin in her hands. “That sounds fun.” 

“Are you crazy? It _sounds_ cold!” Axel said. 

Zexion scoffed. “That’s the _point_.” 

“Actually, Switzerland is generally temperate,” I said. The four of them looked at me like I had two heads, but I shook it off. They’d been looking at me like that since I met them. “No, I was thinking India.” 

“What’s it about?” Xion asked. 

I opened my book and looked at the writing I had circled. Demyx came out and placed a huge pile of waffle fries in the center of the table. Covered in cheese. I sighed and hoped that the two of them remembered to at least not put cheese on one of the burgers. 

“There’s… a courtesan,” I started slowly, turning to a fresh page and writing _courtesan – names?_ at the top. “The most beautiful courtesan in all the world.” 

“That sounds unlikely,” Axel said. “ _I’m_ the most beautiful courtesan in the world.” Xion laughed and slapped his arm. 

“Slut!” 

“Can’t help it, Dem! I’m too sexy!”

_(Beautiful. Sexy. Handsome. Whatever you want to call yourself; you were perfect.)_  

I scribbled down potential names but nothing sounded right, and then continued, “Her kingdom’s invaded by an evil Maharaja. Now, in order to-” 

“A Maha-what-ya?” 

“Demyx, stop interrupting,” Zexion said. 

“It’s like a king,” I explained. “It’s Sanskrit, I think…” Again, they all looked at me like I had a deformity. 

Xion said, “Were you, like, in a Trivial Pursuit club in school?” 

“No,” I said. “I’m a writer. I’m full of useless information. Now, in order to save her kingdom, she has to seduce the Maharaja but, on the night of the seduction, she… messes up… somehow.” I drag my pen back and forth across the page, faster and faster until- 

“She mistakes someone else for the king-guy?” Demyx asks. 

I look up at him and smile. I point my pen at him and shout, “YES! And she falls in love with him!” 

“Again with the love?” Xion groaned, but she was smiling. 

“Everything is about love,” I told her. I wrote down _other guy- but what?_ and drew a line connecting it to the _courtesan_ line. 

“Rocks _Ass_! He should be a sitar player!” Demyx said. Axel, Xion and I looked over at him and he had his arms thrown wide open and the biggest toothy grin I’d ever seen. “I can teach you everything about the sitar. It’s my favorite instrument. _And_ , it’s from that region, right?” 

I nodded and noted _sitar player_ on the page. 

“How did that happen?” Zexion asked, coming out of the kitchen. He was balancing a plate in each hand and one on his forearm, and Demyx also had two plates. He set them down, Demyx sat down on my other side, and he swatted Axel’s hand away from one of the burgers. “That’s Roxas’s. No cheese,” he said, and Axel slid the plate over to me. “But seriously, how does anyone mistake a musician for a king?” 

I bit on my lip and drew funnels on my page for a minute while the others all bit into their burgers. Xion got up with Zexion to grab drinks, and it hit me. 

“He was _dressed_ as a Maharaja. Because he was appearing in a play later that night.” 

“So he tricked her,” Axel said. 

“He didn’t mean to, but the words got misread between the both of them. He didn’t know she was-” 

“A prostitute?” he muttered. 

Xion and Zexion came back with the drinks and Demyx chewed loudly. Zexion slapped him on the back of his head and told him to eat quieter. 

“What happens next, Roxy?” 

“Well,” I started, making lightning bolts on my page, “they obviously have to hide their love from the evil Maharaja because…” 

“He’s a dick and the king so any and all courtesans are his playthings?” Zexion queried.  

“Yes!” I noted it down, and continued. “But the sitar… it’s magical. When he plays it, he can only sing the truth.” 

Xion made a motion like she was playing a sitar and looked at Demyx and sang, “Doot-doot-doot! You are a weirdo!” and then to Zexion, “You obviously dye your hair!” and at me, “You’re a hopeless romantic!” 

They all laughed and I chuckled. “Yeah, my Dad and Sora used to say the same thing,” I said. 

“So what happens in the end?” she leaned forward, her burger forgotten, and I noticed that Demyx, Zexion, and Axel were also watching me like I held the answers to the universe. 

I drew a heart on the page. “The Maharaja finds out and pulls them apart, takes the courtesan away. But their love is too strong,” I mutter, “and they find a way to flee the kingdom together. Even though the tyrant screams and orders his entire guard to find them, they’re already too far away.” 

“Does anyone die?” Demyx asked. 

“Um… not that… I…” 

“Dem, the poor boy’s got enough to think about without having to worry about whether or not he’s going to kill one of his characters,” Xion said. And then, to me, “I like it.” 

“Can’t wait to read it,” Zexion said, taking a drink. 

“It’s gonna rock!” 

But Axel stayed silent and ate his meal and I finally got a chance to eat, too. They all talked about other things, about how Larxene didn’t _need_ more money to fix up _Jitterbug_ , and how creepy Xemnas was. I started my story, barely remembering to eat, and when I had covered two pages, front and back, with words and filled the margins with notes and scribbles, Axel finally spoke. 

“Holy shit, already? How much did you get done so far?” 

I looked up and the four of them gave me their looks, and I shrugged. “Setting the scene? I’ve introduced the Courtesan, though I don’t have a name for her yet, and I’ve-” 

“Will this have explicit sex scenes in it?” Xion asked. 

“No!” I laughed. “I don’t…” 

“Don’t have enough experience to write a good sex scene, Roxy?” she teased. They all laughed. 

I flushed. “It’s not…” I closed my notebook and tucked my pen away and sighed. “Love isn’t about sex. Maybe the whole concept of _making love_ appeals to a lot of people, but my parents were the happiest couple I’ve ever known.” 

“And they had sex at least twice, right?” Demyx snorted. 

“We’re adopted,” I admitted.  “They told me, when I got my sex talk, that they hadn’t had sex past their wedding night because neither of them enjoyed it. But they were still in love.” 

The four of them were shocked silent, and I continued. “I just want to write about love. Sex and love are two completely different things and sometimes coincide, but their story doesn’t need sex.” 

“But the Maharaja is only after her _for_ sex,” Axel pointed out. “Are you going to write him sexing her up?” 

I shook my head. My face was hot. 

“You’ve never had sex before, have you?” Zexion asked. 

I laughed. “I have, actually.” 

“But not with a girl,” Xion said, narrowing her eyes at me. 

I sighed. 

“That explains a lot,” Demyx said. 

Xion stood up. “Well, whatever. I have to go and do laundry. Coming, Roxy?” 

“Actually, I’m still in a mood,” I said. I opened my book back up and took my pen out. “If it’s alright with you guys, I’d like to sit here and write; if I move, I might loose my train of thought.” 

“Whatever,” Zexion said. “The doors stay open until midnight. You’ve got a lot of time.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Do you know the way back to our building yet?” Xion asked. 

I nodded. “Yeah, out to the right and… uh…” 

“Three blocks.” 

“Yeah. And then a left.” 

“Right. You have no idea, do you?” 

“No. I’ve only been here for three days and every time I’ve gone out it’s been you dragging me somewhere,” I said. 

“It’s okay, Xion,” Axel said. “We’ll make sure he gets home.” 

She kissed my cheek and thanked the other guys, kissed Axel on the cheek as well, and then left. I went back to writing as Zexion and Demyx cleared off the table and Axel scooted his chair closer to the table. He put his head down on his arms and I continued to write.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I'm falling and he makes good points but I'm already gone and so is he.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See Chapter One for Disclaimer.
> 
> This is one of those scenes that played in my head over and over until I finally said, "fine. I'll write the damn story."

_He was so easy to like, and even easier to love_  

I added descriptions and changed words around found the prose that fit the story. And all the while, Axel watched me from the other side of the table. Some people came in, ordered, ate, and left, and still we sat and I wrote and he watched. 

He had this gentle smile on his face like there was nothing else he’d rather do than sit with me quietly. It made my chest hurt and my throat dry at first, but after half an hour, it was easy and almost relaxing. Whenever I got stuck I’d look over at him and we’d stare at each other for a few seconds or a minute or five and the universe would open itself up and I was able to write again. 

He never laughed, or scoffed, or anything like that. He just sat there. 

Demyx and Zexion were quiet in the kitchen the whole time, but I could hear soft sounds like they were just keeping their voices down until Zexion poked his head out into the room and said, “Hey, Dem and I are gonna go upstairs to watch a movie, do either of you want to come up?” 

“What about…?” I asked, and motioned around the room. 

He shrugged. “If anyone shows up and knows how to cook, whatever. I’m no chef, and this isn’t a restaurant. It’s a food kitchen. I just help people because I have no greater calling and I like making burgers.” 

That explained why he never hounded me for money. 

“Plus, I can’t kick that guy out,” he said, nodding to the sleeping blond on the recliner. “Even if I tried, he’d probably just punch me and go back to sleep.” 

“Does he ever leave?” I asked. 

“Well, he owns the building. And he’s my uncle. So, no.” 

Demyx tugged on his hand and whined to go upstairs already because they’d miss the first few minutes of _Tangled_ if they waited any longer. They both waved and went back into the kitchen, and I heard a door open and close, and then a lock turned and we were alone. 

Well, Zexion’s uncle was in the corner, but he didn’t count because he was asleep. 

I looked back at my notebook and pressed my pen down. Axel was smiling at me and I knew I was scowling but this part wasn’t coming and I scribbled out words and my chest was tight again and I couldn’t seem to swallow enough to keep my throat from drying out. “Relax,” he said. “You’ve been doing great all this time; the words’ll come.” 

I sighed, but my heart was pounding. 

We were _alone_. 

I looked at him and asked, “Have we been having a moment?” 

“Moment?”  

“Like on TV, where the two sit quietly and there are, like, flutes playing or something, and you know later on in the episode or series that they’re going to get together.” 

He laughed. “No way.” 

“You sure?” 

“Positive.” 

“Last night…” I set my pen down. “You said I was amazing.” 

“You are.” 

“You took my hand and…” 

Axel sat up and ran his hand through his hair. “Look, I’m sorry, but it’s habit, alright? I’m paid to read people and make them comfortable enough to spend money for me. I… knew you were one of those guys who likes having a little bit of physical stuff, so that’s what I did. I wanted you to relax. Nothing more.” 

But he wouldn’t meet my eyes and I was upset because _of course_ it wasn’t because he had felt what I had. That would have been too good to be true, and I was after the truth. 

“Yeah… I’m pretty hopeless, aren’t I?” Then, I muttered, “Like anyone could fall for someone like me.” 

“Roxas,” he said, and I looked up. His face was set stony and his eyes were upset. “Anyone in their right mind would want you as a boyfriend.” 

I smiled and took up my pen again and he asked, “What is it with you and love, anyway?” 

He was still staring, and I finally noticed that his tattoos were upside-down teardrops. I said, “Love works in mysterious ways and I want to figure it out.” 

“Yeah, but you’re no detective,” he said. “And you are going to be great someday, but you’re not going to learn about love down here.” 

“That’s what Xion, Zexion, and Demyx said the other day,” I murmured. 

“And they’re right. There’s no such thing as love around here.” 

“Love exists everywhere!” I said, putting both my book and my pen down. “Love makes your heart pound like a drum, your tongue loose and you stay the dumbest things, your muscles ache because of the excitement. Love puts images in your head of the calmest things like picnics and stargazing and makes them amazing, so amazing that you just want to- to tell the world how you feel. Love lets you scream from the top of a building or a mountain, or paint pictures in the sky with exhaust from an airplane, and suddenly you don’t look like a total idiot. 

“Love is when you open the door for a friend you’ve just met. Love is nicknames, and knowing when not to use them. Love is standing up for someone even when you’re scared, because love transcends everything and you _have_ to be sweet and you _have_ to care and you have _nothing to fear_ because love is there and-” 

He put his hands on my shoulders and his lips were on mine, brushing softly together. His eyes were closed and my breath hitched and he moved one hand to the back of my head. I didn't even notice that he moved or that he was close enough to do this, but the most beautiful man I’d ever met was kissing me and holding me still and all I could do- all I wanted to do- was sit there and enjoy it. 

When he tipped his mouth away from mine, I followed him for a bit, but he opened his eyes and kept his lips parted and I wanted to kiss him back. “What are you doing to me?” he whispered, and I smiled and took his hand off my shoulder and laced our fingers together on top of the table. His were longer and thinner than my own and his skin was just a little bit rough, but they fit between my fingers and I was happy. 

My heart was pounding and I couldn’t seem to get a good breath, but I was _happy_. 

I kissed him quickly and said, “Don’t know. What _am_ I doing?” 

“You just got so fucking _passionate_ and it was like a light lit up on you and I…” He pulled back and shook his head. “No.” 

“What?” I laughed. 

He was smiling like he couldn’t believe what was happening. “You’re wrong.” 

“About what? _Love?_ ” 

“ _Love_ turns normal people into idiots,” he said, and stood up and turned around. He started pacing and continued, “Love makes people throw away their dreams just for a few happy moments. Love is pointless bickering and wasting your life on one person and never knowing if they’ll get over the high first and leave you in the dust while they-” 

“No, Axel,” I cut him off. “Love _inspires_ dreams, lets you know that you can do anything. Love makes every moment a happy one. Love is friendly debate and spending all the important moments with the people who matter and knowing that you’ll always have a place in their hearts, even if you have to part ways!” 

I stood up and took his hands to step his pacing. He fidgeted in place and I leaned up and kissed him again. He kissed back and pulled his hands from mine and ran them through my hair. He tasted like waffle fries and coke and I’m sure my mouth tasted the same. And every time we kissed, he smiled like someone just turned on a light in a dark room just as it was getting too dark to see. 

We were so close together I could hear his pulse when we stopped. 

“My heart hurts,” he whimpered. 

“Mine too,” I said. “It’s supposed to, when you fall in love.” 

“I _can’t_. My job-” 

“Is just that. A job. If you can differentiate, so can I.” I reached up and kneaded the back of his neck and he groaned and I laughed and he kissed me again. His hands went down around my shoulders. He pushed me back gently and I remembered that the couch was directly behind us. I sat, holding onto his hands and he looked down at me with wide eyes and his lips parted and he was panting. 

“We shouldn’t do this,” he said, but kneeled over me on the couch and brushed our lips together again. 

“I think you’re just scared,” I whispered. 

He laughed. “Is that a challenge?” 

I kissed him and pulled him down to my lap. “Yes.” 

He brushed his thumbs across my cheeks and kissed me again, and this time it was deep and wet and he groaned and I was panting. 

“Challenge accepted.” 

_(Oh God, why?)_


End file.
